I am junior this year and things are going great except I can’t lose my virginity to save my life. I am your fairly typical 5’4″, dyed blonde hair, green eyed girl and I think I am cute but compared to the other girls in my school there is no comparison to them, I am average and they are above me. I am also quite shy outside of playing volleyball I am not very social because I am so nervous around everyone. I asked my neighbor who is a sophomore about stuff and I got to give him head BUT then he told everyone and all the boys kept asking me for head. It was super embarrassing and frankly stupid but now it has caused me to not trust high schoolers. The problem being, I still am one. I can’t just go to a bar or on an app looking to lose my virginity. I am not sure if I will get to have sex before I leave for college at the end of next year.
I am super into incest porn but my family is functional and no one would do that and I can’t go solicit older men despite that being my number two of porn. So, it appears I am cursed to masturbate to sleep for the next year and half. I guess it isn’t so bad but I feel so compelled to have it because I can’t. Like, I feel if I had access to sex I wouldn’t want it nearly as bad.
C’est la vie.