Women like to ask men, “Do you love me? This is a very clear, need for a response from the other side of the test. Most men know the right answer: of course I love you, this is their long-evolved reflex to “test”. But if you ask how true it is, I don’t think many people can give you a guarantee.
The right kind of testing is a way to promote affection. If there are too many of these love tries, the man will start to get impatient and not want to respond. Further, they may feel tied down and find women annoying and unreasonable. There is no worse outcome than a man being forced away by a woman. So, excessive repeated love temptation is going to be a harm to the feelings. Love inside should not be repeatedly over-tempted, high pressure may not be able to get each other’s loyalty. It should give the lovers enough space and a way to maintain the relationship.
Temptation is, by its nature, a result of insecurity. Women put many times more energy into their feelings than men do, due to the fact that the volume of their brains that deal with feelings is at least twice as large as men’s. Therefore, women are extra sensitive to everything about feelings, attention, attention, requirements are also correspondingly high, they pay for feelings, invested energy and feelings are very strong. So it’s not an exaggeration to say that a woman’s life is lived for her feelings.
Women have a great need to love and be loved, and this directly affects their emotional balance. Women are easily sensitive and suspicious of love, because they need to confirm the existence of love through words and actions, and must often see and hear about love to be sure they are living in it. Once you feel that the man does not love you, you will use various methods to test the man, you have to give him the response you want in your heart, only to stop satisfied. In fact, this way is constantly wearing down the feelings between the two, and this method is not desirable.
1. Everyone needs some space of their own, and lovers are no exception.
We have to admit that although we are lovers, we are still two separate people. A person’s life, in addition to feelings, there is work and some other things, which is what constitutes a person’s life. Even if you are a lover, you can not do every thing every action every second of your mind to report to each other, there are always some things to face and deal with alone, then, alone thinking or relaxation space is very important. There is also a situation where there are certain things that you don’t want to share. For example, something about one of his buddies. This is not to have their own secrets or what they want to do and so on, just like women’s small thoughts do not want others to know, so women do not want to hold on to this. There is always a corner of the heart that is reserved for yourself, isn’t there?
2. High pressure is like a tightrope, it works for the first time, but it bounces back even more.
In “Journey to the West”, when Sun Wukong disobeyed discipline, Guanyin Bodhisattva gave the Tang monk a tight band spell, and Sun Wukong had to behave. But among two people, this trick obviously does not apply. For lovers, we can not use the word discipline, and we can not use this method of discipline. At the beginning, the woman with this over-temptation, the other party may be understanding, will be obedient, if this high pressure is continuous, repeated, then, the rebound is natural. I just don’t want to do it, you have to force me to do it, then I won’t do it. This is the mindset of men at this point. In the end, he got bored and went outside to seek comfort, it is not impossible. The woman at this point is not a loss and a loss of life?
3. Trying doesn’t lead to loyalty.
There is no cause-and-effect relationship between temptation and loyalty; in other words, temptation does not lead to loyalty. If a man is really loyal to you, he doesn’t need to try and be loyal. If a man is originally unfaithful, then excessive temptation is even more reason to push him away.
Since excessive probing doesn’t solve the problem, but you don’t feel safe enough to do it yourself, what do we do when we are suspicious of our lover’s behavior?
1. Be calm: When you are suspicious of your lover, it is the worst way to take out all your anger and suspicion on your lover. Never be impulsive and reckless, not to mention suspicious. If you have an idea inside you, this first time you can’t make a mess of it either, you can leave it for later to observe and confirm, never jump to conclusions and make stupid things.
2. Communicate openly. When you have doubts about your lover, open communication is a good way to go. But pay attention to the skill of expression, not directly accuse or question the lover is not or how, which will only make things develop in a bad direction. Generally speaking, every person who is accused will instinctively fight back, so that the two become unintentionally aggressive and defensive, which is very bad for things. It’s better to start with what’s counterintuitive about the lover, express your concern, make the lover feel cared for, and then naturally talk about what’s bothering him.
3. If the lover denies it, do not be tit-for-tat. If the lover denies what you suspect, tit for tat saying “I think you are so” and so on is very taboo, unless it is in the hands of the real evidence. The other thing is that such arguments and suspicions will make people feel childish and boring like schoolboy conversations. This will only cause harm to the relationship between two people. We want to solve problems, not destroy relationships.
4. Don’t get excited if your lover admits it. You know, everyone will have many admirers, just like we meet a certain beautiful and handsome man on the street will also admire. Or a chance encounter with a person with whom you have a common topic will also be excited, which is quite normal. But not every person you meet will have further development. If a lover admits to having such a talkative person, don’t get too excited. You should take the initiative to get involved between them, pay attention to the topics they talk about, participate in activities between them, and if the visitor needs help from the lover, you should show initiative to actively help each other solve problems, which is also an implicit declaration. But be careful not to make the lover feel like you are forcing your way into his life.
5. Strengthen the relationship. Whether it’s observation, communication or some other behavioral action, the ultimate goal is to further strengthen and solidify the relationship between the two sides. As the saying goes, flies don’t bite the unstitched eggs. No matter how much temptation there is in the outside world, only if there is enough love and trust in each other’s hearts can we hold on to our feelings for each other. This requires communication with each other in daily life, as well as a certain amount of affection, so as to be able to take the hand of the son and grow old with the son.
In summary, over-testing a lover in love is a demoralizing act that should not be attempted. If you are suspicious of your lover, observation, communication and communication is the preferred way to build a trusting relationship by feeling that each other cares and loves you. It is also the only way for both parties to walk hand in hand together.