The most vulnerable is the relationship between the sexes, and the most confusing, hurt and difficult for women to talk about, probably nothing more than, why he is not “sexually interested” in himself? The reason why men are not “interested in sex” is certainly for their own reasons, but to a large extent, it is also due to the inappropriate performance of women, throwing cold water on him.
Complaints 1 She always refuses sex ……
“Whenever I have desire, she always blows and laughs at me. She makes me feel like I’m horny, dirty, and animal, and she’s holy.”
“She was reluctant every time, and it took a lot of effort for me to get her into bed. It always seems like I’m begging and forcing her, and she’s just a million times more helpful.”
Explanation: Sex is almost the only way for a man to show vulnerability to a woman, and at the same time, it’s a great way for a man to please a woman, show masculinity, and achieve a sense of accomplishment. If women always act like they don’t like it, it makes men feel nasty and embarrassed. This feeling of doing something wrong hits him hard, and the result, only makes him move further and further away from you.
Tips:
If you desire sex and are just embarrassed to say it, then you need to change your mindset.
If you’re sexually frigid or avoiding sex for physical reasons or because the couple is having relationship problems, it’s best to let a professional help you find out why and untie the knot.
Complaint 2Doesn’t she know that men need foreplay too?
“One thing that kills me is that women are always complaining that men don’t give them enough foreplay, but what about the women themselves? Do they have foreplay for men? They often see foreplay as men seducing and teasing women, as an obligation for men, without thinking that men need foreplay, too.”
“When I was younger, all I needed was a kiss, or a hug, or even a seductive look or gesture, and I would get an immediate erection. But now, at 43, my body isn’t as sensitive and impulsive anymore. I need more care, but she doesn’t seem to understand that.”
Explanation: You don’t like it when a man dominates after a slapdash caress, because that never satisfies you. The same applies to men’s “weapons” if you see them only as “always loaded pistols”, they won’t be happy either.
Believe me, he needs to be aroused as well, and more and more as he gets older.
Tips:
Learn to praise and caress every part of his body. every part of his body. Letting him feel that you love every inch of his body can give you the same excitement and satisfaction.
Complaint #3 Why can’t she be more aggressive?
“I really dislike her passivity. Every time I had to play the role of the aggressor and risk her rejection.”
“She never initiates intimacy with me, always waiting for me to kiss, hug, and caress her. Sometimes I know she needs me, but she just keeps holding back, and it makes me feel tired.”
Explanation: In a sense, initiating sex can be a risk. Asking for sex and getting it accepted from another partner is a risk – even between partners whose sexual relationship is already stable. The possibility of rejection can make a man feel scared, angry, or even broken.
Tips:
Tell him you want him, and when he feels you need him just as much, he will rekindle his desire.
If you feel like you just can’t say it, give him the hint ……
Complaint 4 She’s like a mummy!
“You know what I hate the most? It’s the kind of woman who lies motionless in bed …… facing such a woman, it really doesn’t make people interested at all.”
Explanation: Classical psychology research shows that for most people, being ignored is more difficult to endure than being opposed. If you are indifferent to a man’s flirting, with no sound or indication of happy contentment, a man will feel like a failure.
Tips:
Sharing the pleasure of sex with your partner is a way for the heart to connect. Make a promise to yourself to try to bring out the romantic and passionate side of you during sex in the future. Tell him with words and body movements.
Complaint #5 She’s almost like a traffic cop!
“I think she’s practically a dominatrix! She tells me when to have sex and what position to take, without any consideration for my feelings. Whenever I don’t do what she wants, she corrects me and even gets angry, which turns my stomach.”
Explanation: It’s very important for men to be trusted by their partners, and if you’re constantly instructing him what to do in bed, he’ll think you don’t trust him, or even deliberately pick on him, so how can he not get bored? And for a man to be manipulated and manipulated in this way will make you a strong competitor that he has to face, not a woman he is going to love.
Tips:
Don’t boss him around in bed, or discuss how to improve. Find another time to talk to him about each other’s likes and dislikes in sex and tell him how you like it.
Once you start having sex, let go and let him behave, so he can learn to love you the way you want him to.
Complaint #6 She chatters away in bed!
“She kept telling me how much she needed me, how much she loved me, how she couldn’t live without me, and to describe in detail how she felt… …It gave me the creeps.”
“She never would keep that mouth of hers shut. Prices, kids, mortgage, company minutiae …… chatter on and on, you name it, how can I concentrate?”
Explanation: Usually men assume that you must be waiting for his response after you finish talking. This will make him feel stressed, and, while women can be preoccupied with several things, men will have a hard time doing so. You can distract a man from the pleasure of sex by talking too much, and the unpleasantness of it can make him depressed and lose his “fighting spirit”.
Tips:
If you’re talking too much, just Find ways to focus on the sensations of the flesh and feel more of the pleasure of being caressed and touched.
Complaint 7 I can’t satisfy her ……
“She is always horny and takes a long time to have sex each time. Often I was exhausted and she still wasn’t satisfied. It’s horrible.”
Explanation: Women often think that men only want to enjoy themselves sexually, but in fact, what men value more than anything else is getting women satisfied. He will feel that he can’t make you orgasm because he is not good enough, because he is incompetent, he is a failure. Over time, this will cause him to avoid sex out of fear.
Tips:
Don’t leave the man alone with the orgasm. You have a responsibility too.
If he really can’t satisfy you, you need to do the self-exploration to know how to please yourself, and then guide him to do the same. This is the most positive and effective way to do it.
Complaint #8 Her excessive makeup is annoying
“She had her hair done beautifully and her makeup was good. But she had very long nails, so she had to touch me carefully for fear of breaking her nails. Throughout the process, she kept changing positions, fiddling with her hair with her fingers one moment and fixing her necklace the next, so that she would always look her best. How could this make me concentrate on sex?”
Explanation: Men do value your appearance and your ability to take care of yourself, but they also want you to know that you can’t overdo it with makeup, and they like you to be on the natural side.
Tips:
Of course, you can love makeup and beautiful clothes, but you should also know that everything depends on the occasion and try to respect nature.
Complaint #9 She thinks orgasms are fake-able?
“I actually knew she was faking an orgasm, and I had to pretend I didn’t know. I don’t understand why she is faking it? Is it because she thinks I can’t satisfy her and doesn’t want to hurt my pride? Or did she already feel bored and asked me to end it quickly? All in all I find it very uninteresting.”
Explanation: sexologist IvPslati teases, “Every woman has faked an orgasm at least once in her life! ” In fact, both men and women have probably faked an orgasm at some point in their lives. Faking an orgasm once in a while is not a big deal, but faking it a lot is a problem. Faking an orgasm and getting caught can have negative consequences.
Tips:
Rather than faking an orgasm, look for orgasms. Please refer to #7.
Complaint #10 She makes lovemaking so long
“She approached sex as if it were a heavenly affair. First it takes at least half an hour to shower and apply body lotion and perfume. Then the bedroom is lit with scented candles and romantic music. This once in a while is quite erotic, but every time this, who can stand it? I’m often not interested when she’s all set up.”
Explanation: When women treat sex as a major project, men feel the pressure to do so. Many men enjoy spur-of-the-moment sex because sex is a means of entertainment and stress relief for him, not the other way around.
Tips:
Don’t idealize, romanticize, and sanctify sex too much. and sacred, and don’t always need some sort of ritual to arouse yourself sexually. Try to satisfy him when he needs it, discover and nurture your own spontaneous desire, and you’ll find that it’s actually just as good.
Complaint 11 Her sloppiness killed my attraction in seconds!
“I don’t expect every woman to have the looks of a star, but at the very least, women who are sloppy lose my interest. Greasy hair, torn underwear, and a smelly mouth make me think she doesn’t even have a little ‘woman for woman’ in mind.”
Explanation: It’s true, men are “lenient with themselves and strict with others”. They can be unkempt themselves, but complain a lot about women. The reason for this is that they can be “sexually unavailable”.
Tips:
Maybe you don’t look great and your body is average, but you can make a difference. But you can make yourself more attractive all the same. It’s easy to look good, smell good, and feel smooth.
Working out regularly, matching your clothes, changing your hair, wearing a little perfume, and rubbing in a little skin cream can all boost your glamour value. Adjusting your diet can make your complexion look better and improve your body odor as well.
Note: If your private parts smell bad often, it’s likely that you have an infection and don’t know it. You need to see a gynecologist.
Complaint 12 She’s particularly unsure of herself ……
“I was tired of her having to complain about not looking good every day. I kept complimenting her on how pretty she was, but she still felt ugly.”
“She must turn the lights off before she dares to have sex, or else she gets under the covers before undressing. Trying to take a shower with her, she insists she won’t. She feels unattractive herself, so what is she going to do to attract men?”
Explanation: Men’s interest comes from confidence. In their values, timidity is poor. So when you belittle yourself, that attitude has taken all the interest out of them.
Meanwhile, men are very receptive to women’s cues. If you repeatedly despise yourself and emphasize what’s wrong with you, slowly they will buy into your opinion.
Tips:
Please learn to love your body.
Don’t worry that he will find something imperfect about you – in fact, he already knows it, but he still loves you.
Complain 13 She’s Always the Same ……
“She’s conservative. It’s always the same setting, the same position, starting in the same part of the body and ending in the same place. It’s so tasteless that I can predict everything that will happen later before it even starts ……”
Explanation: Sex always needs to be fresh and exciting. In a sense, sex is always exploring and seeking knowledge. The same old pattern of sex inevitably makes people feel bored. The “paperclip” in the “Lust – Caution” was so much attention, is also a reflection of the psychology of people seeking new and change in sex. A survey shows that 85% of people (including women) admit that it’s the routine that makes them uninterested and even orgasms are boring.
Tips:
Couples who have been married for a long time are often too familiar with each other to have an orgasm. The first thing you need to do is to maintain good communication. It is recommended that you first keep a good state of communication, good feelings, there will be good sex. Secondly, do not neglect the maintenance and grooming of their own. Also, you can change the way and place of sex to bring fresh excitement.
Complaint 14 She’s really selfish!
“I think she’s so selfish, she just wants the pleasure and doesn’t want to give it, it’s so unfair.”
“Every time she came, she started to get impatient with me and pushed me to finish quickly.”
Explanation: Men actually need to be adored, valued, and cared for more than anything else. You’re making him feel like he’s just a sex tool, not the one you love and care about. You’re just using him for your sexual gratification – and believe me, nothing makes a man feel more defeated and humiliated than that.
Tips:
Change your self-centered habits and Give him more attention. Be attentive, understand his moods, his needs, his sensitive zones, his preferred ways, and try to take care of and satisfy him.
Sex requires give and take from both sides to be wonderful.
Complaint 15 She Became a Mother ……
“I felt that she had changed, that her energy was all focused on her children and she no longer cared about me. I felt so lost.”
“I felt like she was no longer my wife, but just a mother. That made me feel a little weird about having sex with her again.”
Explanation: Yes, men have “parenting syndrome” too. They will “compete” with the child, will feel that you pay too much attention to the child and ignore him. In their subconscious, sex with the “mother” is a taboo, and after witnessing the pain of your child, he will also be afraid to hurt you again. After having a child, you may also neglect (or not have the time and energy) to clean up after yourself, which can detract from your sex.
Tips:
Even with a child, it’s important to make him feel that in your heart, he will always come first.
Never let having a child make you unkempt.
Don’t sleep in separate beds, or even separate rooms, just because you have a baby to take care of. You should keep together as much as possible and have as much physical contact as possible.