Join us for a most interesting discussion with the Demon, the myth, the legend himself.
This is intended to be somewhat humorous more than anything, but if offended by religious jokes, maybe move on.
Oh, hello there Larry. Welcome. You said you wanted to look through my notebook, maybe ask a few questions? Stay an eternity. Maybe it will only seem an eternity what with all the typos and misspellings. I never have gotten used to this new technology ever since Mephistopheles put all my notes and lists on a hard drive. He said we can’t use the cloud, that belongs to HIM. Such bother over a spat a long time ago. Yes, where were we?
Larry: Can we start with your name. You go by many. Which do you prefer?
True, I go by many names. Most of them rather silly. Like the Devil. I mean, at least capitalize THE. Every ne’er do well down here is a devil of some sort. Satan? Rather bland I think. No, please call me Lucifer. It has a certain ring to it. Rolls off both forks of the tongue if you will. Can I get you anything? Fire? Brimstone? A hummer from Maggie Thatcher? No? Not your type? Jerry Fallwell? Ah never mind.
Larry: Lucifer. We’ll go with that. You promised a story or two?
Promised. Hmm. Can’t have a lie without a promise, I always say. So you’re here for a story or two. I’ve got a million of them. Really I do. I keep them in my notebook. My favorite escapades. My best efforts to entice humans into deviant behavior. The best part is, they’re only doing what comes naturally. It’s the other side who makes all these rules to make them feel guilty. This is really my favorite part of my days. All those murderers and other evil bastards? Not really much fun. When chuck ’em in the furnace and are done with them.
Larry: The stories?
Now where were we? Let’s start at the beginning as they say. Adam and Eve. My old adversary set them up nicely. Good location, nice weather, no need for clothes. Yeah, yeah there’s the whole apple tree story, but what really happened is I sidled up to Eve and told her to take note of what was dangling between Adam’s legs. Then I told Adam about the forbidden fruit. No, no, not an apple dummy, Eve’s forbidden fruit. And she had a nice set of tits too. Once they were aware of what was going on, I let nature take its course. I found myself a nice tree to curl up in…
“Adam, why is your, um, I don’t know what to call it, why is it getting bigger, and harder?” Adam was at a loss for a word, he looked around, saw a rooster,
“Eve, it’s my cock. And it’s growing because I just noticed you’re naked and I can see your tits. I just realized, I like tits.”
“I have no idea why I have tits. They must be to play with.” Adam dragged Eve into some high grass and began fondling and sucking at Eve’s tits. He had the urge to touch her everywhere and discovered that between her legs there was an opening. Eve moaned when he touched her there. So he stopped. “Don’t you DARE fucking stop.” So Adam continued, and he liked it. When Eve began shaking, he didn’t dare stop. When Eve began calling him strange words, he didn’t dare stop. When Eve begged him to stop, he didn’t dare stop. When Adam’s hand was soaked with an interesting fluid, he stopped. Eve, overcome wth strange desires took hold and began sucking on Adam’s cock. Adam fell back in the grass,
“This must be Eden, there can’t be anything better.” Then Eve wondered. Would Adam’s big cock fit? In the opening between her legs? Eve rose and place Adam against her. Then she slowly let Adam enter her. There was no sin yet. It hadn’t been invented, so all Eve felt her first time was pleasure. The pleasure of Adam’s cock opening her wide and introducing her to previously unknown joy. Adam changed his mind, “Damn this is even better!” Eve rode Adam, Adam’s cock got harder, his insides felt funny, those two balls that he wondered about drew up and fluid shot from his cock inside Eve. Eve cried with excitement. Adam played with her tits. Eve continued riding Adam who didn’t know it wasn’t supposed to work this way. So on they went. Adam fucked her in oh so many ways.
Larry: An interesting take on it all.
Yeah, then Eve got pregnant. They had a kid. The blowjobs stopped. I had to laugh. It wasn’t Eden anymore. Once the brood got larger the kids started fighting, damn it got ugly. You could say it all went to hell, but we were chillin’ down here. No company, a few fallen angels. Then those guys upstairs started making rules and sending the troublemakers to us. They were always more fun anyway.
Larry: I see what you’re saying. Once people got a taste for the forbidden fruit, and more things were forbidden…
Yes exactly. It’s like they were set up for failure. Which made it very easy for me. Oh, oh wait. I got another. Sodom and Gomorrah. Now THAT pissed HIM off big time. I had his people rocking and rolling like nobody’s business. The men were fucking all the women, then men were fucking the other men, the men were fucking the goats and sheep, what a free for all. The shit they’d get up to. Women being held down and fucked by anyone and everyone. Man or beast. Two of my faovrite towns, til HE nuked them. Boom. I had to move on. A devil’s work is never done.
Larry: You certainly got around.
Yeah I was around St. Petersburg, when I saw it….oh wait that might be copyrighted. Well I’ve seen it all. One time I went down to Georgia, I was…shit that one too. Back to the sex stuff. Tell you the truth I kind of like it. It’s my own porn channel watching people getting into all kinds of dirty fun. You know what’s real fun? Watching a bunch of guys filling a girl’s holes. All of them. Just ramming cocks into her. But I do get pissed when they start calling HIS name all the time when I’m the one bringing the fun.
Larry: And what about you? Your love life?
So you want to know about my love life? Well the life is long but the hot lovin’ that really goes on and on. I get all the bad ones down here and by bad, I mean really good. All the perverts and nymphos who aren’t pure enough? They show up here looking for some demon seed. First I whip out this cock. Yes the barbs are real. No I don’t jerk off. You crazy, I’d rip my palm up and go blind. ahhaahh. Noooo, I wait for some hot bitch who kicked the bucket while humping a banker high as shit. She sees this and thinks she’s died and gone to heaven. And of course we bring out the chains. Tie her up real good. I make all the lesser devils wait their turn while I fuck that pussy. When I’m done with them they know they’ve been fucked to hell and back. We spend an eternity fucking all her holes, then get up and do it again. You should hear me when I really get going. My cock goes all the way in. Cause that’s just the way it is down here. And when I let out a good roar I’m bringing the cum. When I say it’s hot, it’s red hot. And I don’t cum in those piddly little drops like people do, oh no. I pump and I pump. I wouldn’t call it torture, exactly. Torture is having Beezelebub’s little pecker jabbing at you for a century or two.
Larry: May I say, you’re rather graphic, and a bit crude.
Don’t say crude. That’s so judgemental. It panders to, the other sort.
Larry: My apolgies. Now, the notebook?
Ok, ok, back to my notebook. I get distracted. You sure I can’t get you a cold drink? haha, sorry, a little joke. So yes, where were we? Enough of the old days. Everything was outlawed. You can’t fuck a goat or a kid, see what I did there, or your sister or your neighbor’s ass. Rules, rules, rules. All made to be broken. Most of them in your basic frat house. You get a tight sexy young lady naked in one of those places with 15 horny guys and no rules, damn. My kind of train ride. Just think, guys lined up pumping their cocks into her, filling her with cum, shooting it on her face. Those are my favorites to watch. And if there was any doubt they’ll all end up here, some of them go on to be Senators and what not. Oh sure, I’m equal opportunity. Bring me a frightened old sinner, bend him over and my cock’s going right up his bung hole. A non lube event if you must know.
And people think I’m hanging around starting wars to kill more people. Nah, the raping and pillaging is where the entertainment value is. I don’t need piles of newcomers showing up all at once. But get me some medieval castle stormimg and village razing and I’ve got the popcorn ready. Nothing like a Viking with a fair maiden over each shoulder to give me a stiffy. You don’t think I can see everything that goes on up there? I had all the skills too, I just lost on penalties, or I’d have had the big chair. But I have the know all, see all thing too. Yep, so when you’re supposed to be home with your frumpy wife but you’re out pounding the secretary, I’m there. Hope it doesn’t ruin your night, your cock slipping into that tight young pussy while dinner’s getting cold, and old Lucifer’s got his feet up grading your performance. B , could have had an A, but you wore the condom. That’s not sporting.
Larry: The big chair?
Hmm, yes, the big chair. Now if I had managed to take it, things would be much different. First of all the decor. Screw all that white and clouds and harps. Heavy metal dude, all in red and black. And I’d have sweet young things servicing men and woman all day long. It would be a full time orgy. Any and all combinations sucking and fucking. And hell, hmm, might need a new name, but whatever, I’d have a shitload of kids. I’d be spraying my cum all over people. There’s be little Lucifer’s all over the place. And down on earth, the only rule, all virgins go to hell. Heaven is for the those that spread ’em and guys that fill ’em. And Heaven? Nah, how does “Lucifer’s Lounge” sound? Too Vegas? But I like Vegas. It’s my home away from home. And on Earth, people won’t want to die, it’ll be too much fun.
Instead, we get rules. And you all break the rules. Then it gets crowded here. I get so busy I can’t keep up with XNXX. Oh that reminds me, I’d make that fucking screen red. Yeah, really burn out your retinas.
Larry: XNXX?
Oh sure,, my favirite site. Get a few thousand, horny, sex starved people and mix them with a few thousand so called deviants and they get up to all sorts of mayhem. Just look at these private messages. Yes, of course I can read them. Look these two are talking about how she’s going to suck his big cock and he says he’s going to spray cum all over her big tits. So cute. They send pictures to each other. Of course I already know what you all look like naked. Think about it. Haha.
Oh and another “feature” of how HE runs things. The mixing and matching of people. Half the time one or the other is a horny bastard and the partner thinks celibacy is a good idea. Fucking, hilarious.
Larry: New question?
Next question. Sorry, I get distracted.
Larry: Who is your favorite famous person?
Favorite famous people? Hmm, so many. None of those mass murderer types. Boring. Into the furnace they go. I did fuck that little colonel fucker in the ass for awhile, but there’s always more. Oh yeah favorite, yeah yeah. I’d say Freud. Now that dude fucked with people’s minds. Had them thinking about fucking their mothers. Convinced them that it all came down to that. Freakin’ hilarious. You get them all twisted and they don’t know whether to cum or get off their sister. He thought of shit even I hadn’t come around to.
Larry: Can we take a break for a moment? Let me process all this in my head.
Sure, let’s take a break. I’ll call in some entertainment. A couple of couples to couple? You like M/M, M/F, F/F, M/F/M, F/M/M/M/M/M/M//M/M/M? How about an L/G/B/T? OK, ok. You and you and you and you and you and the pony. Surely you’ve seen this act before? It’s the Aristocrats!
Larry: No thanks, really.
Ugh, you really are hard to please. Oh, ok. You are the guest. Hey you, yes you, the blonde with the big tits, up here. Now. My guest here wants to see you impaled on my cock. Up the cunt or extremely deep throat? Oh sure, she’ll take it all. Honey, get to work, Lucifer doesn’t have all day.
Larry: Actually. Oh wow that did all fit? How? Never mind. I think I have enough.
So, I answered all your questions? Oh she is good at that, but there’s another foot to go. Yes, we’re as busy as ever. Hold on, let, me, just, puuush. Ah, there she is. Don’t mind the eyes bugging out or any of the mess. It’s not like I can kill her. Someone, come take her away, and mop up this cum and whatever, THAT is.
Larry: The fun never ends.
You see, it’s a busy place. An exciting place. Never a dull moment. Make sure you put all that in your story. I’ve had nothing but bad press the past few thousand years. Now if you’ll excure me I have an appointment for tonight. It seems I have a new arrival. A certain someone is getting their due.
Larry: Yes, thank you. I’ll be going.
Come back and visit anytime. Next time stay awhile.